Onward Christian Soldiers

Ronke took me to church today. Well, it wasn't really church; more like a Christian fellowship group. Alpha, so far as I can tell, is a place people go to explore the meaning of Christianity for the individual by talking about whatever in a group. In some respect, it almost feels like AA. It feels honest.

All of this is interesting because, as I said in my introduction to my sub-group, "I've only recently completed my conversion from agnosticism to atheism." However, religion ranks among my favourite topics of conversation and I remain open to learning in principle.

It troubled me quite a bit though that in spite of what I consider my openness to new information, at various points during the introductory lecture, I caught myself rebuffing the speaker's pro-Christian arguments. That annoyed me because it makes me no different from the kind of people that bother me most -- those close-minded individuals who reject opposing viewpoints outright without internalizing them.

Halfway through today's session, I told myself I would open myself up completely to the experience. I will respect the group and take it all in and I will do so with just as much honesty as the group received us all. As one might expect, mentally, it was difficult as hell. After all, I've not completely accepted Christianity or religion for almost a decade. But at my core, I love forcing my mind open to alternative ideas...so I kept trying...and I'm going to keep forcing it open to new ideas.

Onward Christian Soldiers...I'm marching by their side, at least for the next 10 weeks. I wonder if/how I'll change...I wonder.

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At some point, I will write an entry about Ronke. I'm uncertain at this point what the details will be ...but the seeds are sown. :-)